Blair Waldorf Must Pie! - s01e09 - Serena

Blair Waldorf Must Pie! - s01e09 - Serena by thegossiplook featuring a trench coat

Rufus: I’m not saying you’re overreacting per se. Just having a reaction that is above and beyond what is appropriate.

Alison: I have been killing myself trying to make up for what happened in Hundson.

Rufus: Which is not an overreaction, I might add.

Alison: And then I find out that the two of you are making out at theme parties?

Lily: Oh, it was hardly making out and there’s explanation.

Serena: Hey, guys. I’m back and I… brought… Blair.

Blair: Hey.

Serena: Wow. Weird vibe. Okay. Where’s Dan?

Dan: There’s no chance we’re related, right?

Jenny: Oh, look at Eric’s roots.

Eric: What do you mean? What’s wrong with my roots?

Jenny: They’re kind of Rufus-like.

Serena: Hey. Serena and Blair.

Jenny: Blair?

Blair: Yeah, it’s me.

Serena: Explanation to follow but first, what’s going on with our parents?

Jenny: Oh, our dad dated your mom.

Serena: What?

Eric: Ignore my roots.

Serena: Wait. Wait. What?

Blair: You know what’s really weird? There’s a garage door in the middle of your room. Oh. Is that Cedric?

Dan: Wow. This day just got a lot worse.

Serena: Hold on. How serious were they… our parents?

Dan: I think it’s safe to say that they have had sex.

Serena: Oh. No, no, no. I’m gonna faint.

Jenny: To repeat, we’re not related.

Dan: She was a groupie and he was almost famous.

Blair: Suddenly, my family seems so sane.

Serena: This is too much to handle on an empty stomach.

Dan: Well, we’re not going back out there.

Serena: Well, can we leave here then, please? Escape, I don’t know. Maybe eat?

Dan: Well, that’s why they call it a fire escape.

Serena: Mom is such an hypocrite and all these years, she’s been riding me about my behaviour.

Eric: And here she’s just mad at you being her.

Dan: And all this time my dad has been giving me advice based on this girl he dated. This girl, a lot like Serena.

Jenny: It’s her mom.

Blair: When you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your stepdads.

Serena: Blair, can we not tald about that. The appetite...

Dan: Yeah. Or who... or who satisfied it.

Serena: It’s just...

Dan: So...

All: Gross.

Serena: Yeah.

Lily: Hi.

Serena: Hey mom.

Eric: Is everything okay?

Lily: Yeah. Mm..hmm.

Serena: Do you wanna go home? We could call a car.

Lily: Oh no, not yet. I need fries. Excuse me. Could i get some french fries? And just keep ‘em coming.

Woman: Sure. Coming right up.

Dan: We should... Jenny and I should probably head back to the loft.

Blair: I’m gonna go too. Leave you guys alone. S, thank you for today. The sandwich was delicious. I’m calling Dr.Sherman tomorrow. Bye.

Serena: Bye. Is that really necessary, mom? From what I hear, you have been in places far dirtier than this.

Lily: Well.. please. Try spending nine hours with Jane’s addiction on Ohio turnpike. Then we’ll talk about dirty.

Serena: Okay.