Girl: And my brother goes to Dalton. Lacrosse captain. Cute friends.
Blair: Lunch. 1:00 sharp. Every year the Projects pile shrinks while the Victims pile...
Penelope: I blame the voucher system.
Isabel: It's like the Government doesn't even care.
Chuck: Last minute transfer. I thought you should be up-to-date.
Blair: Dates will not be my problem this year. Thanks to your little performance last week, the Lord and I are better than ever. Now if you'll excuse me... I have to find Serena.
Blair: Breakups are easy. It's having to see them date someone else that's hard. Why do you think I rub it in Chuck's face every chance I get?
Serena: A twisted version of foreplay?
Blair: Ignoring you. The point is, whoever dates first wins. And with your ex being Dan Humphrey, you win by default.
GossipGirl: Looks like Humphrey defied our great expectations and Waldorf's rules of order. Daring to date before Serena? It's only a matter of time before it's off with his head... Or hers.
Nelly: The file is sketchy.
Blair: She just transferred in. Her father's with the U.N., she's traveled the world, she won the Short Fiction Award at her last school.
Serena: Blair, do you mind?
Blair: S, this girl is Dan with boobs. Do you really want to see them read together all Year? Move her to the front of the line.
Serena: Look, I appreciate it, but you're making way too big a deal out of this. So he was talking to someone. So what? It-it-it doesn't mean
anything. I'm fine.
Penelope and Isabel: She's not fine.
Blair: Call her a person of interest.
Blair: Hi. My name's Blair. You're new.
Amanda: Hi. I'm Aman--
Blair: Oh, that's not important. We'd like to invite you to lunch.
Amanda: That's really sweet, but I'm already--
Isabel: We know. Dan Humphrey--Bad idea.
Penelope: It could be hazardous to your health-- social, emotional.
Blair: Even physical.
Blair: Besides, boyfriends are so much less reliable than girlfriends. We look out for each other. What do you say?
Serena: Blair? What's going on?
Blair: This is Amanda. She'll be joining us for lunch.
Blair: It's for your own good, S. They were going to lunch together-- Lunch, as in the meal before dating. Is that what you want? Exactly. Would you grab my stick? I seemed to have dropped it.
Serena: This is wrong.
Blair: Eating here? I know, but the MET steps are totally under construction.
Serena: No, Blair, I mean...
Blair: Amanda? Amanda, we have a few ground rules here.
Amanda: For lunch?
Blair: Now that we're all friends, you should know that dating someone's ex is frowned upon. For instance, Serena and Dan used to--
Amanda: Oh. I didn't know.
Isabel: Of course you didn't. That's what friends are for.
Penelope: But now that you know...
Blair: You understand.
Amanda: Pretty sure, yeah.
Blair: Pretty sure?
Serena: Uh, hey, Amanda, would you mind getting some gelato? There's a-a cart right out there on the street. My treat. I don't like this, B, and I'm not gonna do it, okay? I'm gonna go find Dan and apologize.
Blair: It's for your own good, S.