Wednesday, 21 September 2011
Seventeen Candles - s01e08 - Blair
Seventeen Candles - s01e08 - Blair by thegossiplook featuring black bangles
GossipGirl: According to the Catholic Church, mortal sin can only be absolved through the sacred act of confession, but it looks like a certain W.A.S.P. Princess has recently found herself desperately in need of a little unburdening. And who is the man upstairs to discriminate?
Blair: Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. It’s been… a while since my last confession.
Priest: What troubles you, my child?
Blair: After being broken up with my boyfriend for exactly 20 minutes, I… succumbed to inebriation, performed at a speakeasy and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass. The only good news is that he’s a total pig who will act like it never happened. Thank God. Sorry. Truthfully, I’m not even catholic.
Priest: You don’t say.
Blair: But losing my virginity to Chuck Bass? None of my friends will ever understand. I’m ready for my punishment. Whatever you and God think is fair… flogging, fasting, putting that thing with the teeth around my thigh, like Silas.
Priest: How about some food for thought instead? Don’t drink. Keep your clothes on. Try avoiding those who might cause you to stray.
Blair: Oh, I plan to. Thank you, father. It was very good advice. You don’t grant birthday wishes, do you?
Priest: I’m a priest, not a genie.
Chuck: Well, this is the last place I’d expect to find you.
Blair: Go away, Chuck. I’ve been given orders practically from God himself to avoid you.
Chuck: Would you consider avoiding me over breakfast?
Blair: Sorry, but as is tradition on the day before my birthday, I’m heading to the jeweler’s to put some pieces on hold for Eleanor and…
Chuck: Nate? Oh, I don’t think he’ll be singing “Happy birthday” this year.
Blair: No one knows that Nate and I broke up, and it’s gonna stay that way so I can fix this, and I don’t think your best friend would still be your best friend if he knew…
Chuck: If he knew how much I enjoyed the removal of a certain chastity belt in the back of this very limo?
Blair: The events of last night will never be mentioned again. Is that clear?
Chuck: Not as clear as the memory of you purring in my ear, which I have been replaying over and over.
Blair: Well, erase the tape, because as far as I’m concerned, it never happened.
Chuck: I’ll see you at your party tonight.
Blair: You’re officially uninvited.
Chuck: Never stopped me before.
GossipGirl: Speak of the devil, and he doth appear, wearing his trademark scarf. Careful, B. Hell hath no fury like a Chuck Bass scorned.
Posted by thegossiplook