GossipGirl: Spotted: Jenny Humphrey wading in the Met fountain, fishing for change... Blair Waldorf, seen dallying with an off-duty doorman at the Blarney Stone on a Monday night. It looks like the battle Between the Queen B and Little J has moved from the streets to the blogs. Who's sending this debasing dish? I have a feeling...
Blair: A nice, shiny dime to add to your collection?
Jenny: Why the fruit cup, B? Lost your taste for yogurt?
Blair: So what are we doing tonight?
Penelope: Asher's parents are in Cannes, so he and Jenny are throwing a party at his house.
Jenny: It's a really small get-together with just our closest friends. Sorry, Blair.
Nelly Yuki: Blair can take my place.
Jenny: Invitations are nontransferable. She's new to the group.
Blair: Just because your name's on the invite doesn't make you a hostess.
Jenny: Oh? Then why is the party planner calling me? Excuse me, girls... Hey Dad? I'm kinda busy. What's up?
Rufus: I was just wondering what time you want me to serve your favorite home-cooked meal tonight. Maybe around eight?
Jenny: Oh, um, I have that choir thing. Remember, I talked to you about it, and you said I could go 'cause I've been good?
Rufus: Oh, right. Well, maybe we could wait to eat till after you got home then. You're gonna be hungry after all that singing.
Jenny: Yeah, well, I mean, they have food there, and it's probably gonna go pretty late. So, um... tomorrow? 'Kay, love you.
Rufus: Love you, too...
Jenny: Sorry. Floral emergency. Oh, and you will be happy to know that the entire Unity Lacrosse team RSVP'd.
Penelope: Oh my God, it's Asher.
Jenny: Let's go say hi.
Blair: How did little Jenny Humphrey become the next Brooke Astor?
Isabel: The same way they all do.
Nelly Yuki: Marry up.
Jenny: ...Oh, my God! He's so cute!
Eric: Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?
Jenny: Sure. Is something wrong?
Eric: That's what I was gonna ask you. Where have you been lately? You haven't returned any of my calls.
Jenny: Sorry. It's been harder than I thought to keep up with schoolwork, and the new spring social calendar, and my new boyfriend...
Eric: Yeah. Asher, right?
Jenny: Yeah. He's cute and smart and basically perfect, and the best part is I think he really likes me.
Eric: Well, then he has good taste. But... how well do you actually know him?
Jenny: Oh, that's so sweet. You're being protective.
Eric: No, I'm not. But... yes. Yes, I am. I've got nothing against him. I just... Something about him makes me feel maybe he's not the right guy for you.
Jenny: Oh my God. Wait. Do you have a crush on me or something?
Eric: No, I don't. I just want ...
Jenny: Don't be embarrassed. It's cute. I mean, and not so unexpected, actually. I'm flattered. It's just... My heart belongs to Asher. I actually gotta go, but, um, text me, 'kay?
Eric: Oh. Bye.
GossipGirl: This just in: Asher Hornsby spotted locking lips before class... But not with his girlfriend. Looks like gentlemen don't prefer blondes, Little J. They prefer other gentlemen.
Hazel: Now you know how Vanessa Hudgens feels.
GossipGirl: Is this just another round of blanks fired between B and Little J? I'm tired of being the bearer of bad grudges. This is the last item that goes to press without proof.
Isabel: I'm so glad Gossip Girl finally got her balls back.
Penelope: Yeah, she was totally turning into the new Page Six.
Jenny: Low blow.
Blair: Wasn't me. Wish it was!
Asher: This is a surprise. Party's not for a couple hours.
Jenny: Yeah, well, a lot can happen in a couple hours.
Asher: Uh, Jenny. What are you doing?
Jenny: What's wrong?
Asher: It... Nothing's wrong. This... It just isn't what we do. Are you suddenly ... not happy? I... I'm holding up my end of the bargain.
Jenny: What bargain?
Asher: You're Jenny Humphrey, from Brooklyn. You need status, access, resources. I give that to you.
Jenny: What do I give you?
Asher: Do we really need to talk about this?
Jenny: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, we do. So what was on Gossip Girl's true?
Asher: Do you really think someone like me would just date someone like you?
Jenny: But you've been so nice.
Asher: And I'll keep being nice. Nothing has to change, okay?
Asher: Come on, Jenny. Tonight you're hosting your first Upper East Side party. That's something that Blair and those girls can never take away from you.
Jenny: I know. Thank you.
Asher: You're welcome. And... There is something you can do to show your thanks. I think it would be better for both of us if we put those rumors to rest once and for all.
Jenny: What do you want me to do?