Serena: Hey, why the long face? Are you still sad Mom wouldn't let you go to Monte Carlo for the bachelor party?
Eric: No, I'm fine, I figured I'd let Bart, Chuck and Prince Albert have their fun... Oh, that didn't come out like I meant it. Um... Gossip Girl. Looks like Jenny's been spotted at Gap sewing Stella McCartney labels into pocket tees.
Serena: These rumors are getting to be ridiculous.
Eric: Oh, like the one where I'm Gossip Girl?
Serena: Hey, it made sense at the time.
Eric: It never made any sense.
Serena: Yeah, it did!
Eric: No, it didn't.
Serena: Wait, hold on. It's Chuck.
Eric: I have something to do before school starts, but tell him I say hi?
Serena: Okay. Don't forget about dinner tonight.
Serena: Salut, Chuck. Yes, I'm still fine. I haven't heard from Georgina in two weeks. So if you'd stop calling me, I'd finally be rid of all of my monsters. Bye.
Serena: What? You're here! Mmm, and you're late.
Dan: I know. I come bearing apologies and an invitation. What are you up to tonight?
Serena: I know what I'm not up to. Having fun. The SAT tutor was over for four hours last night.
Dan: Mm. So this tutor, is he... Is he cute?
Serena: Mm, well, if hair in the ear is your thing... I hate that since I'm not gonna use the score Chuck bought for me, I have to study every night. I can't even be distracted by ... that... Mmm. That.
Dan: I see your point. So then how about, um, dinner tonight with Sarah instead?
Serena: Oh, Sarah again. What is she, your new girlfriend or something?
Dan: Yeah. Just kidding. But she's new in town, and she does want to meet you.
Serena: Well, since Bart and Chuck are out of town, I already agreed to a quiet family dinner in our old suite. I'm sorry. What about tomorrow?
Dan: ...No, my... My sister and tongue. The two things that don't go together so well.
Serena: Oh! Lighten up. You have been down on him since the beginning. Give him a chance and then judge. Maybe he'll surprise you, like I did.
Dan: How are you always so right?
Serena: It's easy when you're always wrong. Hey, you got first period free. Why don't you go get to know him? Go!
Dan: Okay. Okay. All right, okay.
GossipGirl: And the only thing more shocking than the truth ... are the lies people tell to cover it up.
Luke: Miss van der Woodsen? It's Luke from the concierge's desk. You asked that we call first before delivering anything upstairs?
Serena: Is there something for me?
Luke: Yes, a package from a Miss Georgina Sparks... Hello? Did I lose you?
Serena: Uh, no. Uh, just keep it there. I'll pick it up right after school. And don't let it out of your sight.
Luke: Of course.
Serena: Thank you.
Dan: What was that about?
Serena: Nothing. It's just this... Nothing. I'll see you later, okay? Bye.
Dan: Bye. Hey...
Serena: Hey, B.